Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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