Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
