So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
