The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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