Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
