just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Found the puke drawer
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
