I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
