I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
