So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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