Non-Jews are for practice
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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