i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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