He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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