I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
