yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
