come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Is it because I queefed?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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