tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Boobs speak an international language.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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