i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
