Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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