I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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