i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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