she was so not down for the gang bang
He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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