You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Shame - the story of my life.
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