is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
