I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
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No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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