If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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