im drinking this country out of the recession.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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