SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
