when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
