if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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