so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
