I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
