watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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