How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
