Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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