That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
