I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I am naked and annoyed.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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