were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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