we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
