Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
nutella sex= disaster
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
