i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
