that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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