the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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