I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
