By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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