May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize