so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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