Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
