I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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