Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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