Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
