Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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