belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I touched a dick in church today
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