I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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