her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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