U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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