is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
