my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
