i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize